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 Jeff Martin - On-Road Buffoonery 
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Post Jeff Martin - On-Road Buffoonery
Jeff called me today....laughing hysterically. He said...If you want daily tidbits of Buffoonery....I can provide. So, after I heard the story today...I HAD TO POST!!

Here's a list of road stories....Remember..this tour is 1 week old.

BUFFOONERY 1) After the 2nd show....they all got on the bus, and headed up I5 from San Diego to go to Reno. Jeff was sleeping and fortunately for the band...he woke up. Instead of the driver going UP I5 to Sacramento and then going East on I80....he went the wrong way. Jeff woke up, and saw wind mills!! For those that live in the Bay Area (near Oakland), you'd know that is the Altamont Pass (yes, where the Stones played live at Altamont). The driver was going WEST!! Toward San Francisco!! Fortunately, Jeff woke up and yelled....making it only a 1 hour delay.


BUFFOONERY 2) Shortly after the Wrong Turn....a motorist pulled along side...and honked. It seems the trailer behind the bus with the equipment, was bouncing on the hitch. They pulled over, and realized they had a serious problem. They drove carefully to a WalMart and bought a HACK SAW and Trailer Ball. Jeff, aka Motorman spent 45 minutes hacking away to cut the ball off. They replaced the ball...and continued on to Reno. Delay, about 90 minutes.


BUFFOONERY 3) The band arrives at Reno, at 8:45. They were supposed to go on at 8:30PM!!! Jeff called me, and I ran backstage to help unload equipment...I became a drum tech in about 10 seconds. The reason the band was late was A) Wrong Turn B) Hitch and C) The bus, while nice inside, was a PIECE OF SHIT Mechanically. It was over heating going up to Donner Pass (7,200 feet) and was only going about 10 MPH up the grade.

BUFFOONERY 4) The crowd was TOTALLY Patient. NOBODY LEFT!! Kevin Dubrow during a quick sound check, told the crowd about the bus problems and the crowd cheered. The hotel was the Golden Phoenix in Reno. The room was HUGE...the stage was HUGE. I would estimate, about 3/4 of the booths were fill. Here's the deal...there was NO ADVERTISING AT ALL. No flyers, NOTHING on the Hotel website, NO Signs at the Elevators...NOTHING. Honestly, I have NO IDEA how these people found out about the show. After about an hour of set up, and no real sound check other than vocal, guitar, bass and drum checks (all individually, nothing together) Bang Tango starts the show....The ONLY THING YOU COULD HEAR, was the bass, drums and Jeff's back up vocals for the first song. NO GUITAR and NO VOCALS. Joe was pissed...but he didn't blow. The sound guy was a TOTAL NEWBIE and no idea how to fix it. By the middle of the 3rd song...it was finally sounding like a band.

Still...NOBODY LEFT and everyone was into it.

Joe finished his set and Jeff came out to our booth (Steven Adler was next). Jeff walked up and said....lets go. There was Me, Miren (My wife) , Jamie (Jeff's wife) and our 3 kids. Jeff said...The promoter is stiffing us and it could get ugly. So we headed back stage and into dressing room. I walk in....and Kevin DuBrow is telling Joe..."Joe...rule #1...nobody plays without being paid." Joe says you're right. The promoter SAID....that because they were late....Everyone was leaving and asking for a refund.

OUT AND OUT LIE. Nobody left. Not 1 person.

We later found out from the bar tender.....the casino told the crowd the Guitar player (Alex) passed out. Alex upon being told....said...COOL.


Warning: SPINAL TAP MOMENT.After sitting the dressing room, we decide to leave. We all head down stairs to the stage...it's quiet. We walk out behind the curtain, only to see about 20 people in line for a refund at the only public exit. So, Jeff goes through a back door...we walk down a hall....and end up INSIDE THE KITCHEN! We open a door and end up in the Game Arcade.

BUFFOONERY 4) The show in Sacramento, the bus was overheating during the day driving down. The next show was in Salt Lake City...so they had to now drive BACK UP Donner Pass to Reno....I told them to drive up at night....We won't even MENTION what happend to the ILLFATED BBQ at my house for the guys in the band.

BUFFOONERY 5) Today, a laughing Jeff calls.....Dude...It's getting stranger and stranger. Today, driving from Denver to Flint, Michigan....the TRAILER CAME OFF THE HITCH.....with ALL OUR EQUIPMENT IT on the Freeway in Kalamazoo, MI. The trailer went down the freeway on it's own for 150 yards!! The only damage, was to the tire. 2 Sherriff's, took them to their house and helped them fix the trailer and hitch (Again). Clearly, they got off REALLY LUCKY!!!

BUFFOONERY 6) Jeff calls in the afternoon....He's TAPING THE DIESEL INJECTORS....they are leaking on the bus, and causing burning fuel smoke, to go into the bus!


They called the bus company...demanding a new bus. They're making a switch.


So.....YOU WANNA BE A "ROCK STAR"??

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Ken Hower Wrote: My advice to everyone.....DO NOT purchase any of these photographs....Tim Findlay can jack off to his hearts content over his killer pictures...alone.

Regards,
Ken


Last edited by KenHower on Mon Aug 09, 2004 5:57 am, edited 1 time in total.



Fri Aug 06, 2004 4:54 am
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Hahaha... man, that's great!

I hope they can make it to The JAXX.

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Fri Aug 06, 2004 6:11 am
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Post Re: Jeff Martin - On-Road Baffoonary
KenHower wrote:

So.....YOU WANNA BE A "ROCK STAR"??


where do I sign up!

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Fri Aug 06, 2004 7:37 am
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It's a long way to the top, if you want to rock n roll!

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Fri Aug 06, 2004 3:09 pm
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Yeesh!

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Last edited by Okamiyama on Mon Aug 09, 2004 8:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Fri Aug 06, 2004 3:59 pm
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If I ever get fed up with my job, I'll remember this story. :wink:
(I thought I had it tough.)

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Fri Aug 06, 2004 4:23 pm
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Sounds like fun. :lol:

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Fri Aug 06, 2004 6:30 pm
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That was real nice of the sheriff to help them out. Thank God , no one was hurt from the trailer.
If it was in NJ they probably would have been ticketed to death.
I hope they don't continue to drive with bad injectors. that stinks and can make you sick , and I can imagine how bad it is with a diesel
BTW, do they have air condititoning on the bus.


Fri Aug 06, 2004 8:39 pm
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Hey Ken, at laest they aren't using the trailer parked in back of the Key Club! LOL :wink:

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Last edited by DarrOn on Mon Aug 09, 2004 6:55 am, edited 1 time in total.



Fri Aug 06, 2004 9:21 pm
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DarrOn wrote:
Hey Ken, at elast thet aren't using the trailer park in back of the Key Club! LOL :wink:



No kidding.

This bus looked nice from the inside...not Judas Priest Nice...but no Key Club rotten.


spelling fixed btw.

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Ken Hower Wrote: My advice to everyone.....DO NOT purchase any of these photographs....Tim Findlay can jack off to his hearts content over his killer pictures...alone.

Regards,
Ken


Mon Aug 09, 2004 5:57 am
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lol, good times 8)


Mon Aug 09, 2004 6:26 am
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As promised....More Buffonery.


Buffoonery 7: In Buffalo...buffoonery in Buffalo. Jani Lane apparently met some girl....and ....disappeared. His wife...yes, his wife doesn't know where he is. While he left.....he forgot something important...

HIS KEYBOARD PLAYER!

All the gigs have been notified, and the set lists have increased...particularly Kevin Dubrow's set. Jeff said Kevin is a real pro and the glue keeping it all together.


Buffoonery 8: Since Jani was gone...no need for a keyboard player. The bus dropped him off at the airport...and he's flown home.

Buffoonery 9: The Aug. 15 - Caledonia, OH – Wet Spot Bar & grill is canceled. Why?

THE BAR FUCKING BURNT DOWN!

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Ken Hower Wrote: My advice to everyone.....DO NOT purchase any of these photographs....Tim Findlay can jack off to his hearts content over his killer pictures...alone.

Regards,
Ken


Fri Aug 13, 2004 3:21 am
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Holy shit, this has to be the craziest tour ever. That guy must be a real flake to just leave, lol.


Fri Aug 13, 2004 3:35 am
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And now they got tropical storm Bonnie to deal with.
I got my ticket . Just hope I can make the 2 hour drive with this storm coming.
Hurricane Charlie to follow


Fri Aug 13, 2004 4:07 am
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<turns on Spinal Tap>

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Fri Aug 13, 2004 7:54 am
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Buffoonery 10: One word. CHARLIE


The next shows are in Virginia and Georgia. Jeff's hoping the bus floats.

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Ken Hower Wrote: My advice to everyone.....DO NOT purchase any of these photographs....Tim Findlay can jack off to his hearts content over his killer pictures...alone.

Regards,
Ken


Sat Aug 14, 2004 3:13 am
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are there any roadies there getin this on tape? man, would be funny to get all this on film

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Sat Aug 14, 2004 6:26 am
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KenHower wrote:
As promised....More Buffonery.


Buffoonery 7: In Buffalo...buffoonery in Buffalo. Jani Lane apparently met some girl....and ....disappeared. His wife...yes, his wife doesn't know where he is.




Former WARRANT singer Jani Lane has reportedly dropped off the "Bad Boys of Metal" tour after missing a scheduled appearance at The Downtown in Farmingdale, NY Wednesday night (August 11). According to a fan posting at the Metal Sludge message board, "Nobody addressed the issue until [ex-QUIET RIOT singer] Kevin DuBrow hit the stage. He stated, 'I'm sure you are wondering where Jani Lane is. Well, so are we.' Later on in his set he went on to joke around about how one person on the bus WAS indulging in drugs and how this person tried to fool the nine other people on the bus. He was obviously talking about Jani Lane because he went on to mention that this person looks like a FROG!"

The "Bad Boys of Metal" tour, featuring DuBrow, Steven Adler (ex-GUNS 'N ROSES), and BANG TANGO, is scheduled to hit the Crocodile Rock in Allentown, PA Thursday night (August 12).


Sat Aug 14, 2004 7:59 am
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I became a drum tech in about 10 seconds

You ROCK Ken!!!! 8) That's mighty kuul of you to help a friend in need bro!! 8) 8)

The show will go on!!.... And btw.... I can tell you some stories about being an Aircraft Mech for the Marine Corps!!!! Uh-Rahhhh!! :wink: :twisted: :twisted:


Sat Aug 14, 2004 5:13 pm
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Lots of stuff about the tour from MetalSludge ... no mention of Jeff though :x

http://www.metalsludge.tv/main/index.php?module=subjects&func=viewpage&pageid=714

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