15 Drummer Jokes

1. What is the difference between a pizza and a drummer?

The Pizza can feed a family of four


2. What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band?

“Hey Guys, why don’t we try one of my songs?


3. What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?

The Defendant


4. Why did God give drummers 10% more brains than he did horses?

So they won’t shit in parades.


5. How do you make a drummer’s car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof.


6. What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?

The savings bond will mature and make money.


7. How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?

Pay him for the pizza.


8. What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the instruction into a drum machine once.


9. How do you know when the drummer is driving the van?

Van speeds up… van slows down… van speeds up… van slows down…


10. How do you know a drummer is at your door?

The knocking gets faster and he doesn’t know when to come in!


11. What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?

Homeless!


12. Did you hear about the bass player that locked his keys in the car?

It took 3 hours to get the drummer out!


13. How do know a drummer has been to your home?

He’s still there.


14. What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer


15. I told my Mom when I grow up I want to be a drummer.

She said you cant do both.

What has three legs and an asshole right on top?

A drum stool.


How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

They have machines that do that.

Bonus joke:

An anthropologist goes to an island to study the local tribe. Throughout his stay, he can hear a steady drum beat in the distance. However, whenever he asks what this drumming is, the villagers will only respond, "drums are good! Drums stop, very bad!"

One day, without warning, the drums stop. The tribe is thrown into a panic. They run away screaming, as far from the source of the drums as they can get. The anthropologist, terrified, grabs a fleeing villager, pins him to a tree, and demands "What is going on?! What does it mean when the drums stop?!" to which the villager responds with a shriek,

"BASS SOLO!"

I liked number 9 and the last one of LoQ's.

The Bass Solo one was alright too !

Oh sh*t!